


Contaminated [Modern Kylo Ren AU]

by AmiLynn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Choking, Corruption, Daddy Dom Kylo Ren, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, Drug Use, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Edgeplay, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mommy Issues, Power Dynamics, Praise Kink, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Suspense, Violent Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:33:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmiLynn/pseuds/AmiLynn
Summary: [Kylo Ren Modern AU Reader Insert]You find yourself in a new home with a new job, and life is getting complicated. Moving to a new city can be hard for anyone. But, meeting Kylo Ren, a thirty-something entrepreneur and real estate mogul, certainly doesn't help matters. When the light meets the darkness, all is contaminated.This story is 18+ and will have mature themes
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 14





	1. In My Head

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fanfic, and it is a work in progress. I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> I will do my best to include trigger warnings each chapter, but please also be mindful of the tags. This will be a mature story, 18+
> 
> TW: Drug / Alcohol Use, unwanted sexual advances, mature language, issues with body image, complicated parental relationships.

“How many boxes to go?” Y/N asked. Sweat was beading on your neck and shoulders. Your T-zone was glistening with hard work. It was unseasonably warm in New York for October.

“At this rate, only a couple of hundred more…” sighed Liz, as she rolled her eyes and wiped her brow.

“Well thanks for the help, you guys. I don’t think I could have done this without you.” You heft out a deep breath as you lean over to drop a box full of books onto the worn wood floor of the now-crowded living area. You could feel a drop of sweat slide its way down your neck and settle in the valley of your breasts. 

“I can tell you for certain that you definitely couldn’t have done this without us.” chuckled Jo. Jo was a perpetual athlete, her tone remained flat and unaffected. The only sign that she had been busy with work coming from her mussed hair. 

You Smirked. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that so that I can continue to be appreciative of your help.” You whispered under your breath. 

“Let’s just say you’ll owe us both a couple rounds of drinks after this. Think of it as the cost of labor, plus tip of course!” exclaimed Liz. 

“Alright, already. The quicker we get this done, the quicker we can get to the bar.” you sighed, exasperated at this point. 

It seemed like just yesterday you were interviewing for your dream job in your dream city, and now here you were with your whole life packed into brown boxes, barely being held together by thin layers of clear tape. 

Change never came easy to you, but now was a good time as any. You needed to stop making excuses, and this was your chance to prove to everyone that you were serious about moving forward. It was time to let the past die. 

You had only wished your family could have made the trip to help you move in. It was all so strange. You spent 25 years living within miles of your family, and now suddenly there was all of this distance. It was no secret that your mom didn’t exactly approve of your sudden move; she said that it would be a mistake, one that she wouldn’t help you fix this time. 

You were no stranger to mistakes. You had a history of making friends with the wrong people and falling for the wrong men. Isn’t that what life is about though; making mistakes and learning from them? Your mom saw mistakes as imperfections meant to be avoided at all costs. That was something that you both would never agree on. 

“I think that’s the last of them!” Liz cried as her chest heaved and she rested her palms flat on her knees, keeled over. 

“Time to Pre-Game!” sang Jo as she danced the short distance into the kitchen. 

You smiled as you took in your new home. The walls were thin, and most of the views from the second-floor walk-up left something to be desired; but, in reality there was nowhere you would rather be. When you heard that Liz and Jo’s third roommate would be moving out you knew that you had to jump on the opportunity to live with your old college friends. It certainly beat having to sift through endless craigslist and facebook posts of random people looking to fill the spot of a lone roommate. You really could count yourself lucky for the timing of everything. 

“What are we feeling tonight ladies? Beer, Wine? Tequila?!” Jo yelled over the sound of Frank Ocean now blaring from her phone. 

“Did you just casually throw Tequila into the mix?” You asked, giggling to yourself.  
“Yeah, of course. I know what Tequila does to you, and you definitely deserve to loosen up tonight.” Jo mused. 

“Sold. Tequila it is!” You doubled over in a full-on fit of laughter. You really were elated to have your friends by your side. 

Jo unscrewed the cap of their half-empty bottle of Casa Migos and poured hefty shots into the glasses that they previously pocketed after a drunken stop at Hard Rock Cafe. Liz made quick work of grabbing some lime wedges from the fridge, while you grabbed the table salt ready to prep their hands. 

“To new memories!” You joyfully cheered as you all clinked your glasses together. 

“If we can remember them, that is.” Jo chuckled as she wiggled her eyebrows at both of them. 

They each proceeded to lick up the pile of salt from the backs of their hands, then inhaled their shots with precision. You felt a distinct burning in your chest, and placed the lime between your lips and began to suck to ease away the fire raging in your throat. You closed your eyes in satisfaction feeling the liquor light up every nerve in your body. You could already feel the tension releasing from your shoulders, it felt so good. Almost too good. 

“Let’s do another!” You smiled mischievously as you began to lift the bottle of tequila prepared to pour them all another round. 

“Woah honey slow your roll,” Liz mumbled as she attempted to take the open bottle from your hands. 

“Look, you wanted me to have a good time, i’m trying to have a good time!” You bounced on your heels. 

“Fair enough, but i’ll pour.” Liz sighed resigned, tucking one of her loose curls behind her ear.“Jo, do you want another?” 

“Nah, one of us needs to be sober enough to order the Uber.” Jo chuckled knowingly. 

You rolled your eyes, “I’ll be fine,” you huffed. “You know I can handle my liquor.”

Liz and Jo exchanged a humorous look at that “Okay, I must be misremembering your last visit when you fell down a flight of stairs at that Country bar in Midtown,” Liz responded. Both her and Jo were in full on hysterics at this point. 

You join in on their laughter, “Alright, you guys are right. Let’s just avoid going anywhere that I'm required to climb down a set of stairs to get a drink.”

“I know the perfect place! Cool ambiance, and there’s not a stair in sight.” Jo laughs coming to your rescue. 

“Well, that sounds perfect!” you smiled, letting one last laugh escape your lips which still burned with the sting of lime and salt. 

“Time to get ready, or our night on the town will turn into a night in our kitchen!” Jo playfully bumped her hip with yours and Liz’s, as she made her way into her bedroom. 

Liz tied up her hair in preparation for the task at hand. While you stared hopelessly at the disarray of boxes cluttering the living area. “Well shit,” you mumbled under her breath. “Uh, guys. I don’t know where any of my stuff is.”

“Well that’s no problem, tonight you’re gonna experience the perks of having a roomie that works in the beauty industry!” Liz beamed. Liz worked for a high end beauty brand in their marketing department, as a result she often came home with bags of free products. She practically glowed at the opportunity to help her friend. 

“And I've got a few extra outfits laying around that should fit the bill!” Jo laughed. 

“What would I do without you guys?” you smiled toothily, grateful that you wouldn’t have to go to the bar bare-faced and in a sweaty outfit. That kind of thing would have been perfectly reasonable to you back home in the suburbs, but, you wanted things to be different here. Being in the city you loved made you want to try again. 

You walked into the shared bathroom, allowing the art deco tile to temporarily cool your tired feet. You clipped back your hair, and ran a damp cloth across your décolletage to the back of your tense neck. You instantly felt ten times better than you had a few minutes ago. Bending over the sink, you ran the cloth over your face. You looked up at your reflection in the mirror, barely recognizing the woman in front of you. By all means, it was the same face you grew comfortable with over the past twenty-five years. Something was different though; perhaps it was your eyes. They still shone a glossy brown, but you couldn’t help feeling like some of the light in them had diminished as your perception of life had hardened in the past couple of years. Then there were the bags underneath them, a watercolored mixture of purples and grays, giving light to how little you had been sleeping as of late. You really had to work on that, but tonight wouldn’t be the time to start. 

You took one last look in the mirror, stringing your fingers through your curtain bangs that stuck to your hairline. Your hair wasn’t half bad considering, but you would need to do a quick once over with a flat iron. “Hey, Liz?” You called from the bathroom.

“Yea, Y/N?” Liz yelled back from her closed-off bedroom. 

“Um, do you think I could borrow your flat iron?” You asked shyly. 

“Of course, Y/N! What’s mine is yours.” She opened the door, she had just enough time to change into a tennis skirt and corset-style sleeveless top. With the flat-iron in hand, Liz moved into the bathroom and gently laid it down on the bathroom counter. She settled her hand on your soft shoulder, squeezing it lightly, as she smiled at your reflection in the mirror.

“Thanks Liz,” You smiled back, placing your hand over Liz’s as a small gesture of understanding. Liz knew exactly how much support you were needing during this time, and was happy to deliver it in any way that she could. 

You made quick work of fixing your bangs, allowing them to frame the roundness of your cheekbones and highlight the large doe-like quality of your eyes. You took down the hairclip allowing for the rest of your hair to tumble over your shoulders and down your back.

Jo emerged from her bedroom with a mischievous glint in her eye, hiding a pile of clothes in the expanse of her folded arms. Jo worked in the music business—she did social media for an independent label, and had a large back stock of clothes that were made to be worn for impromptu nights on the town. She was fitted in distressed gray flare jeans tonight, complete with a cropped babydoll top and heeled metallic strappy sandals. She looked effortlessly cool. 

“So, I have a couple of ideas in mind. But, if you don’t like any of these we can reevaluate.” Jo smiled as she stepped into the small bathroom, glancing at both you and Liz in the mirror. 

Liz laughed lightly “You’re in for it now,Y/N.”

Jo’s style was a little darker and more risqué than you normally felt comfortable with. You knew what you were getting yourself into, but you were grateful all the same. Hopefully the tequila would aid in the process.

“Here’s the first option—“ it was a crystal studded high neck mesh top, and black snakeskin skirt with a high thigh slit. 

Your eyes widened, “Yeah i’m not so sure about that one, what would I even wear under that?” Liz chuckled at your response.

“You would wear this under it!” Jo exclaimed holding up a barely there triangle lace bra top. 

“Yeah no…” you replied, looking down at your bare feet out of slight embarrassment at the thought.

“Okay, okay; stay with me!” Without a second thought, Jo threw the poorly received outfit into the hallway. “How about this one?” Jo flourished her arm as if she were hosting a gameshow and proudly displayed option number two in her outstretched hand. It was extremely short, and beautiful—the dress was emerald green satin, with two slits running parallel up the skirt. The top was framed with thin straps, and the fabric was draped delicately to allow for a peak of cleavage. 

“It’s pretty, but won’t it be too much for the bar we’re going to?” you asked hesitantly.

“No! Not at all.” Jo replied excitedly “I had planned on wearing it to the VMAs afterparty but I didn’t have time to change.” Jo shrugged as if that detail was inconsequential. “I know it will look amazing on you, and it deserves a night out on the town. Come onnnnnnnn!” Jo was pushing the hanger towards you now practically begging you to give this dress a chance. 

“Okay, okay! Just stop harassing me!” You laughed breathily, you were nervous to see how the dress would fit your frame. You grabbed the hanger and trudged into your bedroom. You glanced around at your surroundings, noticing that you could see a glint of city lights from your personal window. Your bed was pushed into the corner haphazardly, and more boxes were lining the walls. As you shut the door behind you, you took in a deep breath. The air felt heavy. You checked your phone that had been resting face down on the undressed mattress. No notifications and 57% charged—nice. You pulled the oversized t-shirt over your head, and dropped the loose-fitting terry shorts down your muscular thighs. Flicking on the ceiling fan, you laid on the bed in your cotton underwear and sports bra allowing for the swift movement of air to relax you. You could hear Liz and Jo talking lowly from the bathroom. 

“I hope she has fun tonight,” Liz sighed. 

“I think she will! She has us, after all.” Jo said hopefully. 

“I just know she's had a hard time lately, and this move wasn’t exactly the easiest for her.” Liz replied worriedly. You could practically see the little wrinkle appear in between Liz’s eyebrows out of the concern that you imagined was now etched onto her face. The last thing you wanted was to worry them. At that, you put on your go-to playlist and cranked the volume of your phone. You stood up swiftly from the bed finding yourself instantly dizzy from the sudden emotion raging in your chest that was now mixing with the liquor.

You bathed yourself quickly in perfume that left your skin with a spicy aroma of vanilla mixed with cedar wood. 

You swapped your worn cotton underwear for a lace pair of cheekies and discarded the sports bra to the floor. Running your hand down the supple fabric of the dress, you tucked one of your bangs behind your ear. You located the sturdy zipper on the side-seam of the dress and began to work the fabric up your thick thighs and over your rounded hips. Trying to ignore how the dress seemed to highlight the softer parts of your body as you slipped your arms through the thin straps. You sucked in your stomach as you began to pull up the zipper, finding a lot of difficulty getting it over the tissue of your bare breast.

Resigned, you opened the door timidly, and stuck your head out into the hallway. “Hey guys, can I get some help getting into this shit?” 

Jo’s head popped out of the bathroom, it looked like she had just completed lining one eye with a smoky wing of dark shadow—the evidence of such, an angled eyeshadow brush still located in her left hand. Jo threw the eyeshadow brush back into the bathroom when she saw that you had finally gotten the dress on. 

“Hey! Watch where you throw that!” Liz clamored from the bathroom in reaction to being the unintended target of Jo’s carelessness. 

Jo Ignored Liz’s reaction with a huff and edged herself into your room using her elbow to prop open the door some more. Her eyes skimmed your room noticing that it remained a work in progress, not surprising considering most of your day was spent simply moving boxes into the apartment. Another day would have to be dedicated to unpacking.

As Jo’s eyes circled the room she noticed you in the corner, attempting to blend into the boxes. Her eyes widened, “Wow, Y/N, that dress was made for you! I knew it would be perfect.”

You smiled feeling validated, “Are you sure it looks alright? I feel pretty self conscious.” 

“Trust me, you look amazing. Let’s get this zipped up.” Jo closed up the side zipper where you left off, smiling to herself out of satisfaction of a job well done. 

“Thanks for letting me borrow it, Jo.” You looked at your friend with a new appreciation. 

“Borrow it? Nuh uh—that dress is yours now.” Jo crossed her arms and nodded her head happily. 

It felt great to have friends in your life who truly cared for you. In this moment you knew you made the right decision choosing to move to the city and live with Liz and Jo. Nothing made more sense to you now. 

Jo dragged you by the wrist back into the bathroom, as she took her leave to her bedroom to finish up her makeup and work on ordering their Uber. You glanced over at Liz and noticed that she had just finished her makeup and hair.—she looked feminine and sweet. Her strawberry blonde hair was piled in a high half-up hairstyle, her eyes glistened with a soft pink cut crease, and her lips were wet with a crystalline gloss. 

“Time to work my magic!” Sang Liz. Liz expertly applied your makeup to further soften your skin and highlight your favorite features. You looked in the mirror and practically gasped at your transformation. Your eyes were lined in a smoky brown shadow, and your face glittered with a golden hue that was expertly placed on your brow bone and highest points of your cheeks. Your lips were lined and filled with a beautiful shade of mocha. 

Jo came to lean against the bathroom doorway, “You guys almost ready? Our Uber driver is about seven minutes away.” 

“Yes, we’re all set!” Liz replied, proud of her work. 

Jo frowned as she looked down at her phone, “Nevermind, he’s turning around. Now it says he’s somewhere in the East River…that can’t be right.”

“Just cancel it and order another one,” you said laughing. 

Jo tapped on her phone manically, “Okay, Michael will be here in a silver Nissan Sentra in about five minutes.” 

You all stood in the living area peering out the opened window as the curtains fluttered with the tease of a cool breeze. 

“There he is!,” Jo exclaimed pointing out the window. Jo began running down the stairs two at a time. You could hear her yelling for the Uber driver, begging him not to leave from the window as he began to pull away from the curb. She heaved open the passenger door, having a conversation with your Uber driver that you could no longer hear. “You bitches coming? Michael is waiting!” She yelled up to their apartment as she climbed into the front seat and rolled down the passenger window.

Both you and Liz laughed, you shrugged your shoulders in response as if to say that this was typical Jo behavior. As you shut off the light and locked up the apartment behind you, you smiled to yourself knowing that this would be the first of many memorable nights together. 

— X — 

You didn’t know what to expect from the bar Jo dragged you all to, but it certainly wasn’t this. From the outside, the bar was unassuming and divey, as you expected. But if you’ve learned anything from your numerous visits to the city, it’s to expect the unexpected. 

Your eyes glittered in amazement as you took in your surroundings. The walls were wood paneled and covered in news articles, art, and blueprints, while the ceilings were lined in eclectic chandeliers. The bar top was ornately carved from rich mahogany. Top shelf liquor lined the shelves, along with various bohemian curios. You noticed that the clientele seated around the bar and in the plush booths looked equally interesting and glamorous. You suddenly felt out of place. 

Liz was in awe, “Jo this place is amazing!” she had to shout a little over the music—a moody pop song with a bit of base was playing. 

“I knew you guys would like this place! I stumbled into it after an album launch party the other night.” Jo was satisfied with Liz’s reaction and took out her phone to review the Uber ride as you all slid into place in a vintage-style velvet booth in the corner. There was a round wood table pulled up to the booth that held a modern lamp and a drink menu that was highly stylized. The seating area had a mysterious sort of glow to it that gave you a feeling that anything could happen here.

This was hardly the kind of place you were used to frequenting back home. However, this was one kind of change you could learn to welcome. A waiter who looked to be about your age made his way over to your table. He introduced himself and took your drink orders. You ordered the bar’s twist on a Negroni, while Jo ordered a classic Manhattan, and Liz opted for a Cosmopolitan. You sipped your drink, it was delicious and went down smooth. 

You sat and talked together for quite a while, each of you ordering two more rounds of drinks. It had been a few hours, and the bar had livened up quite a bit. The sound of your table’s laughter was nearly snuffed out by the melodic thump of music and the wave of conversation surging from the neighboring tables. You laughed together and made numerous toasts. You toasted to being reunited in the city you all love. You toasted to bars being open until 4 AM. You toasted to the weather being so agreeable, albeit unseasonably warm. When your waiter circled around your table again to confirm your next round of drinks, Liz glanced worriedly at her phone. 

“Another round, ladies?” the waiter cooed glancing down at his notepad. 

“Actually, can I close out my tab please?” Liz sighed, resigned. 

“Of, course! How about you two—another round?” The waiter asked, turning to you and Jo. 

Jo spoke up, “Yes, we’ll have two dirty Shirley’s, thank you.” Jo wagged her eyebrows at you playfully as you let out a boisterous laugh. 

“Where you headed, Liz?” You asked inquisitively, even though you could probably guess where she was going this time of night. 

“Matt wanted me to stop over to his place tonight, and since I have to be at work early tomorrow I figured I should probably head over there now.” Liz glanced down at her phone again typing off another message. 

“Oh, so you’ve been summoned then?” Jo uttered bitterly. “He just texts you out of the blue, and you drop everything to go running to him?” 

“Jo, it’s not like that. He’s a good guy, he’s just busy.” Liz was embarrassed now, and avoided making eye contact. 

“I’m sorry Liz, say whatever you want but if a man is treating you like that, he’s not a good guy.” Jo looked at you for back up, but you simply stared down at your bare nails, as if they had suddenly become the most interesting thing in this bar. It wasn’t your place to step-in to this disagreement, there was a lot of history here that you weren’t a part of. 

“Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you Jo. I’ve got to go, my Uber is here. I had a great time, Y/N! Stay safe tonight, I will see you both tomorrow after I get off work.” She kissed you on the cheek, grabbed her cross-body purse off it’s reserved seat in the booth and walked out the door without a second glance towards Jo. 

“What’s her deal, you think?” Jo asked looking at you befuddled as she took a sip of her drink that had just arrived.

“She’s either dickamatized or in love,” you said matter-of-factly. Jo choked on her drink at that.

“I’m sorry, what?!” Jo asked incredulous as a dribble of the dirty Shirley slipped from her lips down her chin. 

“I said what I said,” you shrugged laughing to the point of hiccups. 

“You amaze me.” Jo joined in on your hysterics slapping the table lightly. “I have to pee, I’ll be right back.” She stood up abruptly almost tripping on the perfectly flat carpet. 

“Okay, i’ll be here,” you mumbled back lightly.

Your waiter stopped by your table again to notify you that the serving staff would be headed home for the night, and that all drinks would need to be ordered at the bar from that point forward. You closed out the bill, and tipped the waiter so he could leave for the night. You half wondered what time it was. You checked your phone, still no notifications and it was almost 2 AM. You had 25% battery left, you hoped Jo’s phone was charged, otherwise you were both fucked. 

Your drink was empty, so you made the obvious move to sit at the bar. There was a man seated a couple of stools down from you, but you didn’t notice him, being blinded by your need to get another drink. Your mouth tasted like cotton at this point, and your lips were numb. It was glorious to feel almost nothing. You laughed to yourself at that thought.

“Can I help you miss?” The bartender asked as he strode up to the section of the bar that you were seated at.

“Oh yes, i’ll take another dirty Shirley please.” you said laughing a little at your ridiculous order, and staring down at your hands which were placed flat on the bar top. 

“Okay, coming right up!” He walked off to prepare your drink and then came back a moment later placing the glass on a coaster right in front of you. “Would you like to keep your tab open or close it?” 

You barely had to think on it, “Keep it open please,” You smiled at him, handing over your credit card again. 

“Of course! You have a little while til last call.” He walked away with your card, headed to take the order of a group located at the other end of the bar. 

Your purse sat upon the smooth skin of your bare lap, as you glanced down briefly to put away your wallet. You turned quickly to your right as you heard the stool next to you being moved. In your naivete you had assumed it would be Jo. Instead it was a man who looked to be about your age. He was attractive in the traditional sense--brown hair that was trimmed on the sides and long on top, green eyes, and a cocky smile. You rolled your eyes as you turned your head to look away from his gaze; great, this is just what you needed. 

“Hey beautiful, what brings you here?” He brought his elbow up to the bar as he leaned his head into his palm, feigning interest in you. 

You didn’t know how to get out of this one unscathed. You could flirt back, and give this guy the wrong idea, because you could already tell you weren’t interested. Or, you could turn him down outright and risk facing his unpleasant reaction. Ah, the joys of being a woman alone in a bar. Where the fuck was Jo?

“I’m here with a friend,” You replied curtly. You stirred your drink methodically, glanced over his way quickly, then immediately stared down into the cherry colored whirlpool that had become of your drink. 

“I don’t see a friend, I just see you alone at a bar.” He laughed to himself placing his hand on your knee. He was reading this all wrong, or he just didn’t care about how you felt. You pushed his sweaty hand off your knee, looking up to see if the bartender was busy, hoping he could help you out of this one. Much to your dismay, he was on the other end of the bar still flirting with a group of women who just did a round of green tea shots. 

“Well, they’re in the bathroom. They should be back soon,” You sighed. You purposefully left Jo’s gender out, figuring he would assume you were here with a man. You sounded so small, you hated how diminished an interaction like this could make you feel. 

“Looks like I have you to myself for a little while longer then, let’s get to know one another, my name is Jake” he was growing bold now, not to be brushed off. He leaned in to breathe on your neck, as you closed your eyes in disgust. Jake reached to run his hand over your bare shoulder, when he was quickly rebuffed by an unseen force. His hand was being pinned behind his back, and he was grunting in pain. Behind him stood the man who had stepped in to restrain him. You looked at him for the first time, grateful that he had come to your aid. 

The first thing you noticed about him was his build--he was neck-achingly tall, his shoulders had a wide breadth and his chest was toned and emphasized, even underneath the beautifully structured blazer he donned. In one look you could discern how large his presence was, and it ran more than skin-deep. His eyes were dark and brooding, with honeyed centers. His raven-like hair fell perfectly into place like dominos just above his shoulders. His expression was stern and scared you a bit, though you were not the one it was seeking a reaction from. His aquiline nose and jaw grew more prominent, and his brows furrowed. If you didn’t know any better you would have guessed he was out for blood, like a vampire looking for a quick kill. 

“I don’t think she wants to get to know you,” he hissed as he continued to push Jake’s wrist in between his own shoulder blades. You could have sworn you heard something pop. 

“Okay, fuck. Jesus. Why didn’t you just say you guys were together,” the creep seethed practically in tears at this point. You smirked to yourself a little, glad that he was in pain. Satisfied, your hulking savior of a man dropped the offending hand. Jake stood up all too quickly, allowing the stool to clatter to the ground. He rushed out of the bar as if it were on fire. For all intents and purposes, the danger posed to him was just as dire. The brooding man picked up the stool as if it weighed nothing and settled it back in its right place. He stepped back from you suddenly, you assumed to avoid disturbing you further. You almost wished he were closer though so you could find out what he smelled like. Fuck, you were even drunker than you thought. 

“Are you alright?” He mumbled deeply, his voice was raspy and stern. It cut you like a cold gust of air. You felt yourself shiver, and goosebumps lit your skin ablaze. 

“I am now,” you smiled at him lightly brushing one of your bangs from obscuring your perfect view. You looked up at him shyly, he was so goddamn tall. 

“Good,” he huffed about to turn around. You saw him lean over the counter to speak with the bartender, probably closing out his tab, and then made way for the exit of the bar about to walk by you without another word. 

“W-wait,” you lightly reached for his arm, as he flinched away from your touch. You were taken aback at this small action. “Can I at least get your name or buy you a drink to thank you?” You wanted--no needed to know more about him, you almost didn’t care how desperate you sounded. Almost. 

“My name is Kylo, Kylo Ren,” he said smirking at you as he did a polite once-over of your body perched on the stool. It was probably all too clear to him that you were attempting to flirt with him. “I’ve got to be going actually, but i’m sure i’ll see you around,” and with that he was out the door in a flash before you could say a word in protest. 

You could barely believe what had just transpired. What the hell was that all about? You were interrupted from your thoughts as the bartender saddled up to your section of the bar once again noticing that your drink had been emptied. 

“Would you like another?” He asked attentively. 

“I better not,” you sighed. Your head was cloudier than ever, and in all honesty you couldn’t afford to rack up your tab much higher. “Can I close out?”

The bartender looked at you incredulously as he handed you back your credit card, “Actually, it’s already been taken care of.” 

“Oh, thank you,” your tone was flat, but you remained surprised. The only person you could think of who would have picked up your tab was Kylo Ren. Is that something he would do? How would you know, you didn’t even know him. 

At that revelation, Jo found it pertinent to finally emerge from the back of the bar, where you had assumed the bathrooms were located.

“Where the hell have you been? Did you fall in?” You slurred at her, annoyed. 

“Funny story, I met some girls in the bathroom, and we got to talking and did a few lines.” Jo laughed languidly. You hated to admit it, but this was not a rare occurrence for Jo. 

“Do you even know how long you were gone?” You didn’t want to make her feel bad, but you couldn’t help holding her responsible for the events that had come to define your night. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t even thinking. Did something happen?” Jo replied curiously, but she was also pretty out of it. 

“No, it’s no big deal. I’ll tell you about it when we’re both sober.” You laughed as you hooked your arm around Jo’s shoulder. You couldn’t stay angry with her long, she had this way about her that made her impossibly forgivable. It was a talent. 

Jo ordered the Uber home as you mindlessly tapped your fingers on the bar. Your eyes glazed over as you shut your mind off from the anxieties that had been coursing through your brain for most of the night. 

When the car arrived, you both stumbled into the backseat. You rested your head against the car window, feeling the vibrations of the moving car rattle your head into submission. The smell of cool dew was emanating through the cracked window. It was comforting. Jo was mindlessly chattering with your Uber driver. You closed your eyes, expecting blackness and static to welcome you into a light sleep. Instead, the image you saw was much more jarring— it was the man from the bar—Kylo Ren. “Shit,” you mumbled to yourself under your breath. You couldn’t quite place why, but your skin prickled with anticipation at the very thought of him.


	2. Welcome to New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mature language, 18+

“Fucking move! What the hell are you doing?!” An abrasive man yelled from the street down below, following his shouting by pounding on his car horn repeatedly. 

“Jesus, fuck.” You whined to yourself squeezing your temples as you rolled your body to face away from the open window in your bedroom.   
Your head was pounding, and your throat ached from dehydration. Reaching across your bed to check your phone on your nightstand, you noticed that you still didn’t have any notifications. Luckily, you thought ahead in your drunken state last night, and had left a glass of water on the bedside table. You gulped down half the glass, and closed your eyes to hide from the harsh sunlight. 

All was quiet in the apartment, aside from the commotion in the street down below. Both Jo and Liz had already left for work. 

With the apartment empty, you figured it would be a great time to get more settled in your space, and get ready for your last day of relaxation. You tried to get up out of bed and instantly got dizzy as your head continued to rattle. It probably would be a good idea to shower and have some coffee first. You took your time in the shower, letting the hot water relax your muscles, which were still sore from moving all of the boxes. Throwing on a pair of cropped leggings, and an oversized henley, you let your long hair fall from your towel; you then made your way into the kitchen, searching for caffeine.

“Where the hell is the coffee,” you sighed to yourself, searching through the limited cupboards, not leaving a stone unturned. You quickly realized there was none to be found. Resigned, you grabbed your keys and left the apartment in a rush--now on the hunt for a fresh brewed cup of coffee. The sidewalks were empty, it was now just past 10 AM and the workday rush was long gone. You felt your wet hair brush your shoulder as the humid breeze rushed through you. Spotting a Starbucks halfway down the next block, you found yourself instantly comforted by it’s familiarity. Walking up to the counter, you rifled in your purse for your wallet, and ordered a sweet cream cold brew--your go-to order. 

“That’ll be $5.35.”

You opened your wallet searching for the card you had used the night before. “Fuck,” you sighed to yourself as you rubbed your hand over the back of your now damp neck. 

“I’m sorry, one second,” You looked up at the cashier, worry laced in your eyes. 

“Sure, no problem,” she smiled back at you. 

You searched through your purse again, hoping to find the card tucked in a pocket. You could always use your phone to pay, if you hadn’t left it on the kitchen counter. Today really was headed on the wrong track. 

Defeated, you turned back to the cashier, “I just realized I don’t have my card, can you cancel my order?”

“Of course!” The girl tapped the screen and called up the next customer as you stepped off to the side. 

You were starting to panic. That was your only card, and you had only been in the city a day. 

Thinking back to the night before, you realized your mistake. You gave the bartender your card to keep your tab open, and when Kylo Ren had covered your tab, you failed to ask for your card back. 

Heading back to the apartment in a hurry, you tried to remember the name of the bar. You climbed the stairs to your walk-up two at a time, and grabbed your phone off the kitchen counter. Plugging in the name to the bar on Google Maps, you found that it was a fifteen minute walk from your apartment. 

You left the apartment again in a rush, leaving a cloud of stress behind you. Fifteen minutes later, you found yourself in front of the same bar you were at the night before. The lights inside were dimmed, and you had a bad feeling as you tugged on the door. It didn’t budge. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, you were tired and frustrated with the direction your morning had gone. You pound your fists on the door, hoping someone was working at this hour. 

Just as you were about to turn around and make the embarrassing journey back to your apartment, the lights inside came alive, and the door opened. 

“Can I help you?” a deep voice rumbled through the small opening of the door. 

Your eyes widened in surprise as you turned your head over your shoulder. What you saw almost took your breath away. “Oh.” 

It was the man you couldn’t stop thinking about, the one from last night. Kylo Ren. He looked even better than you had remembered. His hair looked ruffled, as if he had run his hands through it one too many times. He was dressed down today--wearing a black Nike hoodie, dark-wash jeans, and a beautiful watch. Your eyes kept running over his massive silhouette. 

“Hello?” He said, smirking at your surprised face. Your lips parted out of embarrassment. 

“Oh, yes. Um, I think I left my card here last night. Do you work here?”

“No, I actually was craving a drink this morning, so I broke into this bar to make myself one,” his lips lifted in a half smile. Cocky bastard. “I actually own the place.”

Of course he did. What were you thinking?

“Come in,” Kylo smiled at you, genuinely this time, as he held the door open for you with his large palm placed nearly at the top of the door frame “Let’s see if we can find that card.” You peered up at him as you walked over the threshold, wanting to memorize the mischievous glint in his eye. 

He took a few long strides behind the bar, and stood in front of the register. You stood at the bar awkwardly, examining your fingernails as if they were the most fascinating subject to you at the moment. Kylo took a break from searching around the register area for your card to observe you in the reflection of the mirror that was hanging behind the bar. You had been taking a break from studying your nails, and made quick work of staring at the expanse of his back. He chuckled lightly in a knowing manner when your eyes met in the mirror. You felt a heat spread across the apples of your cheeks, and migrate down your chest. It was dead silent in the bar, quite a difference from last night--the place had felt so alive then. Now the bar almost seemed haunted. You cleared your throat to fill the silence that was quickly making you feel uncomfortable. 

“So, what brings you here so early?” You asked inquisitively. 

“Well, I come here in the mornings to balance the books before I head into the office,” Kylo mumbled over his shoulder as he continued his search for your card. 

Your brows furrowed at that; you had assumed when he said that he owned the bar that this was his full-time job. “What do you do for work? I mean aside from owning this place.” 

“I manage a real estate firm,” his response was short, he almost sounded annoyed.

Desperate to continue the conversation with him, you were quick to think of a follow up question,“That sounds very interesting, do you like it?” 

“Sure,” Kylo’s palms tightened around the countertop of the bar. He was definitely becoming aggravated at your questioning. Probably best to just drop the topic. 

You pulled out your phone as you took a seat at the bar and began to scroll through your old text messages. 

“Are you sure you left your card here last night?” Kylo was now standing in front of you, scowling with both of his palms spread flat on the surface of the bar on either side of you. 

Are you kidding me? What an asshole. “Yes,” you snapped, “ Why else would I be here before 11 AM?” 

“I don’t know, maybe you just wanted to get another look at me,” he smirked at you in an unfriendly way. 

“You know what, forget this shit. I’ve had a horrible morning. I’ll just report the card missing and have them send me a new one,” you began to get up from your spot at the bar in a hurry. You could feel the anger building in your chest. 

“Hold on, hold on,” Kylo yelled after you, waving your newly found credit card in the air. 

You turn around hesitantly, “Is this your card?” he asks you; he sounded like a magician doing a playing card trick. 

“Indeed it is,” you mumble, reaching to snatch the card out of his outstretched hand. 

“Wait,” Kylo pulls back his hand that was holding the card, “How do I know that this is really your card?” He put on a shit-eating grin. 

You sighed, “Are you serious?” He was making this so difficult. 

“Absolutely! Maybe this is your gig, claiming credit cards that aren’t yours from local bars.” 

“Fine, I’ll prove that it’s mine,” you shuffled through your purse again pulling out your Driver’s License, and slapping it on the countertop. Kylo picked up your license in his large hands, he kept glancing down at your license and back up at your face. It was making you uncomfortable. 

“Take a picture, it will last longer,” you snapped. 

“Listen, in my experience, you can’t be too careful,” he smiled lightly, sliding your license and your card back over to you. You rolled your eyes as you put your license and credit card back in your wallet.. 

“You aren’t from the area, did you just move here?” Kylo almost whispered.

“Yeah,I actually just moved to the city yesterday,” you looked at him hesitantly. Why was he asking you this? 

“Welcome to New York--piece of advice, you might want to be more careful next time you go out. I won’t always be around to save you like I did last night,” his lips were upturned slightly, making you think he was joking; but, his eyes told a completely different story, he was being serious.

“Thanks for the advice, but I don’t need you to save me,” you huffed and rolled your eyes as you turned from him, making your way to the exit. 

“Nice meeting you, Y/N,” Kylo shouted after you, smirking. 

“Wish I could say the same, Kylo,” you yelled back, letting the door to the bar slam behind you.


	3. I'm Not Mad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mature language, ambiguous references to emotionally harmful relationships, anxious thinking, food descriptions, 18+

You huffed in frustration as you rolled onto your side to check the time on your phone. 5:36. Less than two hours to go before you needed to start getting ready for your first day. Pinching your eyes together, you rotated your body to face away from the window. It was still dark out, but you didn’t have to look too hard to find the beginnings of the early morning rush. The owner of the newsstand on your block lifted the gate covering the counter, and a few breakfast carts were being rolled to their destinations—eager to meet customers on their commutes to work.

Your mind was racing; it’s not like you normally got a good night’s sleep, but, your first day of work was looming over your head like an anvil. The anxiety was crushing you, and at this rate you knew that more sleep was out of the question. “Fuck it,” you mumbled to yourself, you grabbed your phone, defeated. Scrolling through your notifications, you laid back onto the flattened pillow.

Two new texts from the night before, one from your sister—Erin, wishing you luck on your first day, and the other from a number you didn’t recognize— _Hey. I heard you moved, how are you?_

 _Sorry, who is this?_ You sent back, confused. Staring at your phone in anticipation, you watched as the ellipsis appeared and disappeared several times.

_It’s Tyler. Did you really delete me from your contacts?_

You read the text as soon as it came through; your heart dropped into your stomach. Tyler. Of course. Did all men have a sixth sense about the worst possible time to reach out to their emotionally traumatized ex-girlfriends? You thought about turning on your read receipts and not replying. You thought about breaking your phone and getting a new phone with a new number—but, you didn’t really have the money or time to deal with that right now. You settled on responding.

Your fingers pounded the screen of your phone with vigor— _Why the fuck are you texting me? Of course I deleted your number_. Then hit send, as you stood from your bed and placed your phone face down on your nightstand. Your hands were shaking. Why today of all days?

Now was as good a time as any to start getting ready for your first day of work. You peered through the dark apartment, taking notice that Jo and Liz were both still asleep. Liz was off today, and Jo was notorious for moseying into work well after 10 AM. Perfect, you had plenty of time to take a shower.

The water pressure was weak, and the walls of the tub were lined in various bottles of shampoos, body washes, and shaving creams. The shower still did the trick; the stream of water was warm and helped to provide you with a little bit of relief.

You tied up your hair in your towel and draped yourself in a plush robe. Most of your clothes were still packed away in boxes. Thankfully, you had the wherewithal to think ahead, and had packed a nice outfit in your overnight bag—a matching set consisting of a high waisted pencil skirt and strapless top in a soft cream color. You had planned on pairing it with an oversized black blazer, and obsidian booties.

You took your time getting ready, studying the light-purplish circles wearing under your eyes. Applying a light amount of concealer, you blended out your imperfections with your pointer finger. You put extra care in shaping your eyebrows, and strategically placed a light swab of bronzer on the apples of your cheeks. You left your hair to air-dry, wanting to emphasize your natural waves.

You expelled a breath of air, realizing your moment of blissful ignorance would have to come to an end. You picked up your phone gently, as if it might explode. Turning it over, you noticed that it was now just past 6:30, and saw that you had a new text from Tyler. _I miss you._

Fuck this, you thought. I’m not going down that road again. You deleted the text without a second thought, grabbed your bag, and made your way out the door.

— X —

It was still dark outside as you made your way down the empty city block. The sunlight was slowly easing its way through the silhouettes of the overlapping skyscrapers. The crispness of Fall was in the air, but the promise of warmth was still hanging on for dear life.

You had about an hour before you had to be at work; your stomach grumbled. Seizing the opportunity, you decided to go on the hunt for a local deli. Making your way down another block or two, you stumbled upon a family-owned place that would do the job.

Now armed with an iced coffee and a warm bagel oozing with cream cheese, you made your way to work feeling on top of the world. Who would have guessed that all you needed to turn your day around were a bunch of carbs and some caffeine.

You inhaled the bagel, feeling your mood boost instantly. Ten blocks to go, despite your satiated appetite, your nerves were starting to spike again. You listened to the methodical stomp of your heeled boots on the sidewalk, letting yourself be hypnotized by the rhythm. More people were beginning to empty out onto the streets in waves, filling up the empty spaces. Your destination was just up ahead--Johnson & Fisher. The five-story building, which took up a significant portion of the next block, was hard to miss. Even an out-of-towner would recognize it as an institution without knowing anything about it. You had dreamed of working at the high-end department store for years. You swallowed deeply, holding your hand to your chest as if it would steady the pounding of your accelerating heart.

“Here goes nothing…” you mutter under your breath, tossing the wrapper from your devoured bagel and empty coffee cup into a nearby garbage can.

The doorman greets you jovially as you step into the lion’s den.

— X —

Amilyn Holdo, your new boss, was staring you down as you crossed the threshold of Johnson & Fisher. She was one of the few remaining women left of the old guard on the Upper East Side. The rest of whom had vacated the isle of Manhattan long ago in favor of new destinations.

She had a warden-like presence, yet her eyes held great warmth in them. She was as much a part of Johnson & Fisher as the very building itself, her mark on the company insurmountable. She commanded respect, and you knew better than to give her anything less than your best.

This was your first time meeting Ms. Holdo, you had interviewed for your position with Johnson & Fisher’s HR team. Her face was framed by a chic asymmetrical bob which was perfectly contrasting the violet-colored pantsuit she was wearing.

“Hello, Y/N, glad to see that you are early for your first day.” Amilyn smiled lightly but her cheeks did not meet her eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you too Ms. Holdo. I figured it would be a good idea to make a good first impression.” You laughed lightly to yourself in response.

Amilyn nodded her head, “Yes, well thank you for being mindful of that.”

“Of course.” You whispered, her eyes were assessing you in an evaluating manner.

“Well, let’s not waste anymore time. We have a lot to go over,” Amilyn turned quickly and made her way deeper through the labyrinth of glass cases filled with accessories back to the row of bronze elevators.

— X —

You were shifting uneasily in a plush chair at the foot of Amilyn Holdo’s desk when you noticed her pick up a pair of cateye reading glasses, and pull a file from a cabinet nearby. She began to look over the document in great interest.

“So Y/N, I see you had high marks throughout your higher education, but this will be your first time professionally styling and providing personal shopping services?”

“Uh yes, that’s right, but, i’ve had a lot of experience with styling in a few of my internships and in working retail over the years.” You swallowed nervously. She was very intimidating.

“Yes, I see that in your portfolio here. If this is any indication of how you will perform here at Johnson & Fisher, I have high hopes for you and your career.” She smiled at you now, widely.

You breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh, thank you Ms. Holdo.”

“Of course dear, and please call me Amilyn, Ms. Holdo is my mother.” She guffawed and sank into the throne of a chair that was placed behind the gigantic desk.

She began to go over your day-to-day duties in great detail. Personal shoppers and stylists are required to report to work Monday through Friday, and an occasional weekend day in order to accommodate their clientele. Amilyn mentioned how the clients of Johnson & Fisher mainly consisted of high-profile New Yorkers and other travelers visiting from near and far. You might be expected to assist anyone from an award winning actor to an up-and-coming political change-maker. She advised you to expect the unexpected.

Having covered most of the bases in her office, Amilyn wrapped up your first day of work by introducing you to the different department heads, and then gave you a tour, showing you every inch of the luxurious department store. You felt as if your head was going to explode, but in a good way. Your feet ached, and your head pounded in promise of the opportunities yet to come.

“Have a great weekend, Y/N! I’ll see you bright and early on Monday, yes?” Amilyn said to you in a cheery tone.

“See you Monday, Amilyn. Have a great weekend, and thank you!” You called out to her as you began to make your way to the exit.

Pulling your phone from your purse, you quickly thanked the doorman and checked the time on your phone. 4:45. Just enough time to stop for a bite to eat and still beat Jo home from work.

— X —

You stumbled through the doorway of your apartment juggling your phone, a plastic bag that held your chicken and rice from the Halal cart around the corner, your purse, and a large work bag. The door was unlocked which made your feat easier. You kicked the door shut behind you, shuffling your booties off your pained feet. You were breathing heavily from your trek up the stairs.

“Wow, look at you, you’re officially a New Yorker!” Liz giggled from the couch in the middle of your living room. You could barely see her over the pile of boxes that still overtook the space.

“Ha. Ha.” You replied in a monotone fashion. You began to unpack your bags and settle in. Rifling through the kitchen cupboards you found a fork amongst the mismatched collection of utensils and joined Liz on the couch with your food. The container was still hot when you placed it on your lap, it warmed your aching thighs.

“How was your first day of work?” Liz asked in a chipper manner. A day off certainly did her some good.

“It went really well, they actually made me CEO of the company.” You shrugged your shoulders and took a large bite of your food.

Liz rolled her eyes at you in a playful manner, “You’re hilarious, Y/N, did you know that?”

“I’ve heard that once or twice,” you replied without missing a beat, “Honestly, it went really well. I was nervous at first, but I could really see myself loving it there.”

“That’s great! See, you had nothing to worry about,” Liz began to pick up a magazine ready to release you from her questioning.

“Well, I guess I was nervous about the wrong thing entirely,” you said in passing, taking the opportunity to shovel more food into your mouth.

Liz’s eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“I got a text from a weird number this morning. It was Tyler,” you shifted your eyes away from Liz. You already knew how this was going to go.

“No way. Are you serious?!” Liz discarded the magazine at her feet and turned her body towards you completely. “I thought you blocked him.”

“Yeah, well I thought so too. He must have got a new phone,” you shrugged pretending to be unbothered.

“Please tell me you didn’t respond…” Liz said softly, you could see her pity for you growing within her eyes.

Annoyed, you shook your head, “I told him off. That’s all.”

“I just don’t want to see you keep getting hurt by him, Y/N,” Liz looked up at you softly with tears in her eyes as she rested her hand over your crossed ankles.

“I won’t let him, I'm not letting him back in again,” your voice wavered and trembled at the sudden surge of emotion between you and Liz.

Your friends had heard second-hand recountings of what went down between you and Tyler, but they saw firsthand the damage that the aftermath of the relationship wrecked on your life.

“Please promise me, Y/N. I can’t watch you go through that again.” Liz sighed shakily.

“I-I Promise,” You rested your hand on top of Liz’s in solidarity.

She nodded her head, satisfied that you meant the words she begged you to repeat. You both sat in silence, comfortable leaving the air between you both muddled with emotion.

With a whoosh, Jo burst into the apartment eating a slice of pizza, “What in the afterschool special is going on in here? Are you guys crying--what the hell did I miss?!”

You both laughed at the absurdity of Jo’s interruption. “Everything is fine, Jo,” You said, still hiding the leftover tears that refused to pour from your eyes.

“Okay, glad to hear it, because we’re going out tonight. The label signed a new band today, and they need to be shown a good time.” Jo shoved more pizza in her mouth with one hand as she began to unpack her leather backpack with the other.

Liz looked over at you questioningly, with that same pitiful look from before in her eyes. You could tell she was wondering if you were up for that tonight.

“I think that can be arranged,” you said with a cheeky smile.


End file.
